Boy, has it been a roller-coaster year. I've been missing-in-action here while I finished up my pre-requisites for nursing school. Juggling school and care-giving has been, to say the least, a challenge. I have a new appreciation for students of any age. I had forgotten just how hard it is to adjust to spending hours each week in a room full of strangers. At least now I know what a scantron is! I'll be putting in my application for nursing school this week and then there will be the long wait to hear whether or not I'm accepted for the fall quarter.
In an earlier post, I talked about the challenges of being an older student in a classroom dominated by youth. I expressed the hope to have a chance to extend the grace I yearned for to others.
I got that chance. During the quarter, I happened to make friends with a young woman about the age of my eldest son. She and I were so different, it was almost laughable. But somehow, we clicked. I chose to ignore her wild ways and rough language. She didn't seem to mind that I cringed at her crude banter and politely refused her invitation to join her for "thunder down under" (and no, I didn't even know what it was). I stood in the wind with her at break time as she smoked a cigarette and told me about her latest boyfriend. I bit my tongue and beat back the motherly urge to give her advice.
Then I went home and cried.
I cried for all she could be. I wept for her lostness. She was so utterly, completely without God. So sweet. So streetwise. And yet, so very clueless. In her, God gave me a glimpse of His tears for humanity in all its fallen beauty. I saw her soul as God sees it: a priceless thing; worth a King's ransom and worthy of our tears.
Why is it so easy to forget that those without God are no less deserving of Him than we are? In value, they are us. In spiritual poverty, we were them. We are all in need of a Savior. We are all completely undeserving of and often blindly oblivious to His fierce and undying love for us. He cares so much. We comprehend so little.
The last day of regular classes, I gave my friend a gift-wrapped copy of Song in the Night and asked her to open it later. I knew she didn't like people who were "goody two-shoes" and had no idea how she would react. But I liked her so much, I just had to share the real me with her... and tell her why.
On finals day, I was nearly as nervous about her reaction as I was about the test.
When she saw me, her first words were: "You made me cry." Then she solemnly gave me a hug and ask if we could get together for coffee.
I hope we do. But truthfully, I don't know if I'll ever actually get a chance to see her again. I'm grateful, though, that God answered my prayers and gave me someone new to love, unconditionally, in His precious name.