It's Okay to Cry

In much wisdom there is much grief,

and increasing knowledge results in increasing pain.

Ecclesiastes 1:18

They were born alive, squirming, whimpering, gasping for breath. As they lay fighting for life on the filthy table, an employee took a pair of scissors and snipped their spinal cords. In some cases, the infant was nearly decapitated. 

The recent reports of the horrific conditions at an abortion clinic run by Kermit Gosnell turn my stomach. I can't even think of what those children and their mothers endured. It unleashes a mourning within me that threatens to rise to the surface and spill over into heartbroken grief. It makes me want to wail.

I always wonder why I feel like I have to keep it controlled, why I have to think about something else. It's so much easier to look away than it is to have the pain and responsibility of knowing the truth.

The Bible tells us God is all-knowing and all-powerful. If He knows everything, then He sees not only every act of faith and courage that happens on earth, but every act of evil and injustice, as well. How His heart must break! How much pain He must bear! Because He has reserved judgment until all have had a chance to accept His gift of forgiveness, He restrains His great power and waits.

He waits for us.

It's our responsibility to know what is happening in our world, and how it relates to God's Word. But it's not enough to understand. As we increase in knowledge and wisdom, it's time for action. 

In Christ alone lies hope for a weary world. It's our job to be His hands and feet and heart. There are people dying without hope today. If we have Christ's heart, we will weep with Him. If we are His feet, we will go to those who are dying and lonely and distressed. If we are His hands, we will reach out to give and comfort. others. If we have His eyes, we will not look away from suffering. 

If we have His voice, we will speak the truth.

The next time bad news comes on the tv. it's our call to action, whether it's to pray or to move or to give. It's okay to cry. Just don't look away. 

Is it hard for you to hear bad news on the airwaves? How do you deal with the heartache you see around you? What is God calling you to do? 

Unbreakable

Photo courtesy Erik Thorson 2013

For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, 

nor angels,

nor principalities, 

nor things present, 

nor things to come,

nor powers, 

nor height,

 nor depth, 

nor any other created thing,

will be able to separate us from the love of God,

which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 8:38-39

Famed evangelist Billy Graham tells the story of an English missionary who died in India during the early 1900's. Immediately his former neighbors broke into his home and pillaged it, stealing the man's possessions. The English consul was notified, and an official went to investigate.

The missionary did not have a lock on his door, so it could not be secured. The official simply pasted a piece of paper across it and affixed the seal of England on it. After that, there was no more looting. No one dared to break the seal because it represented what was at the time the world's most powerful nation.

In Him, you also, after listening to the message of truth,

the gospel of your salvation - having also believed, 

you were sealed in Him with the Holy Spirit of promise,

who is given as a pledge of our inheritance,

with a view to the redemption of God's own possession, 
to the praise of His glory.

Ephesians 1:13-14

In the East, a seal was more important than a signature. The signet used to imprint a seal usually sat in a ring inscribed with words or symbols and reflected an office of importance. It was usually used with clay, because of its permanence. Wax was used, too, but was not as desirable because it was prone to melt in the hot sun. Clay hardened over time. In order to break the seal, the clay itself would have to be broken.

In the Bible a seal represented both security and ownership. An official seal was used to hold Daniel in the lions' den, and the seal of Rome kept anyone from tampering with the tomb of Jesus under pain of death. In the book of Esther we discover the Persian king who ruled over Israel was unable to revoke his own decree, because it was sealed it with his official signet ring.

Ancient Ephesus was a port city and carried on an extensive trade in lumber. A purchase was made by selecting the timber, stamping it with a signet or other sign of ownership. When the buyer was ready for the lumber, he would send an agent with the signet to locate and claim all the wood with his seal on them.

Remember now, that You have made me as clay.

Job 10:9

If you have bowed your knee to Jesus Christ, the imprint of God is on your heart. You are sealed by the authority of the Lord on high. You are under His protection, and the power of all Heaven stands behind His mark. He is sealed in you. He can't leave without breaking the clay and His promise to never leave you forsaken. 

You may feel fragile, weak, and ready to break. The heat you're feeling, however, will just harden the seal of the Master on your life. Nothing in this creation, nothing in your future, and nothing in your past can destroy you. The power of God is unbreakable, because He will never revoke His own decree.

You are, quite literally, possessed by Christ. Be comforted, for the full power of the Lord is behind His mark on you. You are safe. You are His. You are treasured.

You are unbreakable.

But we have this treasure in jars of clay 

to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.

2 Corinthians 4:7

Tribute to a Stepmother

Photo courtesy Erik Thorson 2013

Her children rise up and bless her;

Her husband also, and he praises her, saying:

"Many daughters have done nobly,

But you excel them all."

Proverbs 31:28-29 

When she heard our son Kevin was in a Canadian hospital with a broken neck, she fell weeping to the floor. She begged God to spare his life. She cared for his little sister and did the family chores while we were with Kevin, first in Canada and then in the Spokane rehab hospital.

She visited him whenever possible in the hospital. She learned with rest of us how to care for a person with a devastating spinal cord injury to give the family respite when he came back home.

It didn't matter she had only known us for three years when Kevin broke his neck. She was as devastated and devoted as if she had known us forever.

Juanita is my stepmother, and she was sent straight from God to be our new mom, grandma, sister, and friend. She married my dad after my mother died from complications of a series of strokes. She started out as "Grandma Juanita" to our children. That was too much of a mouthful for my nephew, who was just a little guy at the time. He shortened it to "Gramita," and the name stuck.

She never tried to take Mom's place. Instead, she made her own place in our hearts. She gave us space to remember Mom without displaying jealousy. She graciously accepted our family traditions and helped us create new ones incorporating her rich Mexican heritage. Because of her, I now know how to make tamales with corn husks and fry up our own taco shells with masa flour.

"Gramita" with great-granddaughter Rebekah in 1997

She is a loyal wife, a faithful mom to her own two children, a loving stepmother to my brother and me, an adoring grandma to her grandchildren on both sides of the family, and a generous great-grandma. She is an auntie many times over. She is tender and giving. She is one of hardest working people I have ever seen.

Since my father became pastor of the Leland Pioneer Community Church in historic Leland, Idaho, Juanita has been a tireless supporter. She serves their community beside my father and lives to tell others about the Savior who redeemed her and set her free. Her love for Jesus is both inspiring and contagious.

In honor of this week's tribute to Moms everywhere, I salute Juanita and the stepmothers like her who take on a whole new family - baggage and all - with grace and love.Yours is a difficult and often thankless job.

Every time you swallowed down a retort, listened to the same family stories all over again of the years that never included you, took flowers with your husband to his first wife's grave, put aside your holiday traditions to accommodate your new family's schedule, and generally accepted the people your husband loves, be assured we noticed. Your sacrifices have made us love you all the more.

You are appreciated and adored. Thanks for being you. May God reward you in the measure of devotion you have shown us, overflowing with blessing.

Happy Mother's Day!

Toilet Cleaning and the Perfect Storm

Photo courtesy Erik Thorson copyright 2013

Peace I leave with you;

My peace I give to you.

Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful.

John 14:27

Last week was stressful, to put it mildly. I had a manuscript to get back to an editor. My new computer, the one I bought because I was afraid my faithful old Dell would kick the bucket any time, chose last week to fail me.

Every spring we have the annual re-certification time for our certified family home, which involves extra paperwork and things like having our water and fire extinguishers tested. As a young mom, I used to tease that if I didn't get the house cleaned soon, the health department was going to shut us down. Now we do get inspected by the state. Getting shut down is a real possibility now if I don't keep the toilets clean.

At the first of every month, I inventory Kevin's medical supplies, make out a new order, get it to the medical supply company, and put the supplies away after they arrive. I also have to set up new monthly charts because I keep daily charts of the care I supply at our home. Every month we also test the smoke detectors and change out equipment. All this, and toilet cleaning, too.

Last week was the perfect storm. All this was brewing, and I had to get sick. 

Awesome.

Several nights ago, I was tossing and turning in bed in my misery when I heard my husband and youngest son chatting downstairs. I dragged myself down to the living room. "I can't do this," I whimpered. "Could you guys pray for me?"

They did. It was awesome. 

I didn't feel any better, but God's peace enveloped me and I was able to sleep. The next morning I was on the mend.

Erik Thorson/2013

Today the world looks brighter. The manuscript made it to the editor. The computer is under warranty and is on its way to the manufacturer. The certified family home paperwork is coming together. New supplies will be here tomorrow.

Best of all, I am reminded how close we are every day to the source of peace and comfort. I wasted a lot of emotional energy before simply asking for prayer and giving everything over to God once again. Jesus warned us not to "let" our hearts be troubled or fearful, implying we have the power to keep it from happening. We have more control over our happiness than we think we do. Living in a state of peace has nothing to do with circumstances and everything to do with what we allow to shake us.

When we're in over our heads and trouble has already been let out of the gate, we can turn to others for the support we need. We're not meant to do this alone. We're in it together.

Are you troubled today? What do you do when peace can't be found? Do you have a trusted friend or family member who will faithfully pray for you? 

If you need prayer, send me a comment in the comment section. It will not be published or made public in any way.  I will pray for you. 

Living in Laodicea

"To the angel of the church in Laodicea write:

The Amen, the faithful and true Witness, the Beginning of the creation of God, says this: 
'I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot; I wish that you were cold or hot. So because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of My mouth. Because you say "I am rich, and have become wealthy, and have need of nothing," and you do not know that you are wretched and miserable and poor and blind and naked, I advise you to buy from Me gold refined by fire so that you may become rich, and white garments so that you may clothe yourself, and that the shame of your nakedness will not be revealed; and eye salve to anoint your eyes so that you may see. Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline; be zealous therefore, and repent. Behold I stand at the door and knock...."

Revelation 3:14-20

Photo courtesy Erik Thorson 2013

Laodicea was one of three famous cities of the Lycas River valley. Six miles to the north of it lay Hieropolis, a city boasting hot springs and thermal baths. Ten miles to the east lay Colossae, known for its pure, cold springs.

Laodicea had to have its water piped from a spring five miles away. The water was so heavy with minerals it slowly clogged the pipes. By the time it reached the city, it was tepid. The foul, lukewarm was nauseating. Early readers of Revelation would have made the instant connection to Jesus' threat to spit (literally, "vomit") it out of His mouth.

It was a wealthy city, however, so rich that when it was destroyed by an earthquake in 60 A.D., the citizens turned down Roman aid and rebuilt it themselves. Laodicea was famous for the black cloth produced from the beautiful wool from its sheep. The citizens were proud of their black clothing, but Jesus saw them as naked and advised them to be clothed in the white clothes of His righteousness.

The city was also situated near the quarry from which came a powder used to make salve for eye ailments. Jesus saw their blindness and told them to anoint their eyes with the salve He offered in order to restore their sight.

This letter to Laodicea is especially poignant because God was talking to the church there. His own people were blind, naked, poor, and tepid.

This breaks my heart.

I have so many times been all these things. I have been too full of the world's cares to see my emptiness, too blind with duty to see my nakedness, too busy with the temporal to have time for the eternal.

Thank God He loves me enough to reprove me. Today He stands waiting at the door of our hearts. I can't help but wonder, How did it get closed? I didn't mean for it to happen. I don't know when it happened.

I just know He stands, He knocks, and He waits.

Come, Lord Jesus. Come.

Baby Blues

She's a new girl, and she's having trouble adjusting to life in my office. Sometimes she doesn't listen to me. Other times, she just sits and stares into space.

No, I don't have a difficult employee. I have a brand-new computer. She is doing a lot of whining right now.

So am I. I've spent the last couple of days working on it. I spent today talking with the friendly folks at tech support to figure out what is making my baby so colicky.


It's not like it's my first one. I've been a new mom before. I remember the late nights holding its hand, the little messes it makes, the days I have to give it a time-out until it does what it's told.

Right now it's pretty much consuming my days. I'm on a first name basis with the tech guys. We're going to chat again next week, to see if the wayward child is responding to therapy.

I'll try to keep up my posting in the meantime. But if I miss a day, it's probably because I'm conferring with the doctors. Or my baby's been banished to the corner.

Under the Spotlight

I will trust and not be afraid;

For the LORD GOD is my strength and song,

And He has become my salvation.

Isaiah 12:2

Some years back a traveling evangelist came to a nearby town to hold Billy Graham-style meetings in the school gym. His team asked for assistance from the area churches for people to pray, to counsel, and to help with the music.

Someone asked me to sing a special, which I gladly did. The night I sang, an acquaintance from my school days came up and mentioned how much she liked the song. She just kept on about how amazing it was. I secretly basked in the praise but replied as humbly as possible, "Oh, it wasn't my doing. You remember how shy I was in school."

"I know," she agreed, "that's what made the song so amazing."

Okay. It wasn't my ability that impressed her. It was the fact I had been able to get up there at all. That was humbling.

 Later I was struck by two things:

*The fact I was stung by her agreement with the very words out of my mouth.

*How much God has really changed me from the timid little teenager I once was.

Often our lives become so full we spend much of it doing, instead of being. This is usually considered to be bad. If we are doing the right things, however, we don't stay the same. Somewhere along the way, the song changes. We may not even realize how much.

I once yearned for the acceptance and approval of others. The more I tried, the more I embarrassed myself. After a few of those failures, I retreated to a life of safety in the shadows.

That's where God found me, dusted me off, and gave me a new song.

Today I have an audience of One. My goal is to make every day a solo performance straight from the heart to the only person whose approval I need. I already have His acceptance.

I fail at that goal every day, of course, because I'm so miserably human. But I know God is still at work on me. His stage is the secret place of my soul. His spotlight reveals my motives, illumines my heart, and dispels the shadows. 

Being under the spotlight can feel pretty intimidating. It can get a little heated under the light. It's a good place to be, though.

Lit up. Under scrutiny. Singing our song for Him.

How have you changed over the years? Has it been for the better or for the worse? Can you think of a time you feel under the spotlight of God's scrutiny? What did you learn from it?