Keeping It Real

It's been too long since I've posted here, I know. The recent direction God has driven me (back to school to finish my pre-nursing courses) has kept me extremely busy. I have two five - credit classes, which is a lot for me to juggle along with my other responsibilities. The rest of the family have been very supportive, and I love them all the more for their sacrifice and encouragement.

It has been harder than I thought it would be to adjust to being in classes with people who are much younger than I. Many of them are younger than my eldest children. In fact, I guessing that the teacher is younger than my eldest children.

I didn't think it would make much difference, but I definitely feel the generation gap. I have been referred to as the "older woman" in class, with a breath of emphasis on the "old" in "older." My table has a large empty circle around it, as if my gray hair were a disease. One young girl had to sit by me the first day because the class was so full - but quickly remedied that at the next class.

I have dreaded walking into that room every time. Suddenly I'm in ninth grade again. Yes, me - the author and speaker. I'm surprised by the strength of the past to influence my present. Old insecurities ooze up from some long-gone, but obviously still-raw, sewage of high school memories and threaten to pull me into their smelly pit.

But it's different this time. Forty years ago, I didn't know the Lord Jesus. Four decades ago, I walked into each class alone. This time I have a powerful Advocate within me and at my side, encouraging me and strengthening me to offer to others the grace and acceptance I longed for and never received from my classmates.

Perhaps God has plans to expand my education in more ways than I anticipated. Perhaps He has used this time to expose old scars and insecurities to His healing touch.

Did I say "perhaps"? I'm thinking, probably.

All We Have Is Us

This has been the best Mother's Day ever for me.

My wonderful husband surprised me by providing a surprise week-long visit by our eldest daughter, Sis, and her family. They worked it out so beautifully that I, the especially suspicious one of the family, didn't have a clue. In fact, I was so taken aback that it took me a minute to process the familiar face that knocked on our front door - an entrance usually reserved for door-to-door salesmen and lost motorists.

The days since have been a glorious clamor of laughter, food, visiting our old haunts, and re-telling the same old family stories. My new daughter-in-law has patiently and sweetly endured hearing it all again, laughing in the appropriate places and riding along in the swirl of joy that has consumed this week.

 

I love them all so much. We are complete when we are together. Age, new family affiliations, distance, and changing circumstances seem simply to weld us closer.

So this is what heaven must be like. It's going to be rich.

My father has always had a special saying:

In the end,
all that really matters
is relationship.

Amen, Papa, amen.